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Food & Drink

316 locations in Rochester

John's Tex-Mex Eatery

Former Building Overhead View (by Flickr user RocPX license info) John's Tex Mex Eatery (formerly known as Taco John's) was a cheap Tex-Mex joint in the South Wedge, originally on the corner of South and Alexander. They had a laid-back atmosphere with bright red walls. The menu was very vegetarian/vegan friendly. The seating area was limited but adequate for most of their traffic. Additional seating is available on their patio outside during warmer months. John's Tex-Mex opened in June 2006 in the former Ly Lou's location. The owner was a local resident who graduated from the Rochester Institute of Technology. On April 29, 2019 they moved up the street to a bigger building. Closed June 8, 2024. Please see the Talk page to read old comments, add new comments, or discuss the contents of this page.

Lettuce B. Frank

Lettuce B. Frank was a popular food cart in Rochester, often stationed at the U of R. According to its Facebook page, it was "attempting to change the face of fast food by making it local, from scratch, and healthy." It also featured several vegetarian and vegan dining options. Lettuce B. Frank briefly had a bistro located on South Clinton Avenue in the Swillburg neighborhood, which had opened in February 2013 but closed in July 2013 due to water damage. They closed in June 2015. The following message was left on Facebook: It is with a heavy heart that I announce that Lettuce B. Frank will no longer be in service in Rochester, NY. My family is taking an adventure to Hong Kong for a new & amazing opportunity. We want to thank all the fans & friends who've supported us over the years, you've been the best. We're off to expand the menu for our next endeavor. Thank you again for all your support and patronage, we will miss you.

Pontillo's

Home of the self-proclaimed "finest pizza" in Western New York, Pontillo's is famous for being the largest, locally-owned pizza chain in the area. They offer submarine sandwiches, salads, and pizzas by the pie or the slice. Some locations feature online ordering. Locations Pontillo's is located throughout Rochester in 19 different locations, spanning across the city and into its suburbs: Awards Pontillo's was voted "Best Place for a Pizza Slice" in City Newspaper's 'Best of Rochester' Awards in 2015.1

Mario's Via Abruzzi

Just too bland for foodies, methinks. — Been there for wife's corporate party several times...was impressed with service. — Report on their 2006 Wine Spectator award celebration: $25 admission was not deterrent enough for the creepy or the catty. The goods: they did have the status wines, but you need to be gauche to fight to the top of the line at the scheduled uncorking time; 'chocolate fountain' competed for cheesiness with the fromage; live instrumental music was mostly unnoticed by the meat-marketish crowd. Could do a better job keeping the whites chilled with a gathering of this size, but, hey, at least they kept the pyramid of glasses replenished. — I’ve only been to the Monroe Ave location for corporate events and their buffet service is not to be recommended. I have heard on occasion that the food can be good, but most comments I hear are to the contrary. The old East Ave location was always a pretty good choice for a pizza or a ‘red sauce’ pasta dish. — Very overpriced and there is lots better Italian fod to be found, even at chain restaurants. I'm not quite sure how they feel like they can charge so much for meals that are only typical at best. —

Brandani

Try the calzone pizza- ricotta and ham, no sauce. Mmm-hmm. They do tend to have strange hours and are closed mid afternoon. Check for a coupon on the D&C web site. Romeo, Carol, Frank and Pia welcome you! Their pizza is delicious!! I have had a few different kinds, and there is no stand out, they are all very good. Their crust is delicious, nice and thick, but still doughy and soft. It's perfect! I suggest skipping single slice orders - they are not as good. Their hours are tricky, and I have driven there several times, only to find that they were closed. They are open later on Super Bowl Sunday, of course. — Order yourself a white pizza with sausage and garlic. They use homemade sausage and fresh slices of garlic for a pizza that will knock you out in flavor and potency. — HUGE pizza slices. I had a pepperoni slice and it was delicious and filling. The sweet and sour wings are made with sauce. Mmmmm! —

Chain Restaurants

List of chain restaurants in and around Rochester. Popular Categories Family Restaurants Fast Casual Fast Food Pizza Upscale Restaurants Local to the Rochester Area Amiel's Bill Gray's Cordello's Dibella's Flaherty's Three Flags MacGregor's Marvin Mozzeroni's Pontillo's Rubino's Salvatore's The Distillery Tom Wahl's Yolickity Frozen Yogurt Bar Local to New York Cam's Pizzeria Delmonicos Italian Steakhouse Dinosaur Bar-B-Que Finger Lakes Coffee Roasters Mark's Pizzeria Sicilian Delight Yotality Frozen Yogurt National Chains 110 Grill Abbott's Frozen Custard Applebee's Arby's Auntie Anne's bb.q Chicken The Beer Market Ben & Jerry's BJ's restaurant & Brewhouse Blaze Pizza Blimpie Subs Bruegger's Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar Burger King Carrabba's Italian Grill Champps Charley's Grilled Subs Cheesecake Factory Chick-Fil-A Chipotle Mexican Grill Chili's Cold Stone Creamery Core Life Eatery Cracker Barrel Crumbl Cookies Dairy Queen Dave & Buster's Denny's Domino's Pizza D.P. Dough Dunkin' Donuts Firehouse Subs Five Guys Burgers and Fries Gloria Jean's Godfather's Pizza Golden Corral Hokkaido Ramen House IHOP Insomnia Cookies Jersey Mike's Subs Jimmy John's Gourmet Sandwiches KFC Little Caesars Pizza Longhorn Steakhouse McDonald's Mission BBQ Moe's Southwest Grill Mochinut Nautical Bowls Nutty Bavarian Olive Garden Outback Steakhouse P.F. Chang's China Bistro Panda Express Panera Bread Papa John's The Pita Pit Pizza Hut Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits Primo Hoagies Red Lobster Red Robin Salsarita's Fresh Cantina Sarku Japan Shake Shack Sobol Sonic Drive In Starbucks Subway Restaurants Taco Bell Tai Chi Bubble Tea - originated in Rochester Texas de Brazil Texas Roadhouse Tim Hortons Tropical Smoothie Cafe Wendy's Wings Over Rochester (nationally known as simply "Wings Over") Wingstop Yogen Fruz

East Rochester

History Welcome sign on Fairport Road. The Village of East Rochester started out as the Village of Despatch in 1897, so named by the Merchants Despatch Transportation Company (MDT), was laid out as a planned community designed around the railroads and the MDT Plant. Much of the original land which became the village came from Fairport businessman Walter Parce1. Parce's land was developed to provide housing for employees of MDT and he is considered the founder of Despatch, and hence East Rochester2 The piano also played an important role in East Rochester history. The Foster-Armstrong Company was an East Rochester Piano manufacturer and was purchased by the Aeolian-American Piano Corporation, which moved a great deal of its manufacturing capacity to plants in East Rochester. Built for them in 1905, the Piano Works housed the piano manufacturing, WWII war production, and back to pianos until 1982. The original Piano Works buildings are still in use today as a shopping center and office complex called Piano Works Mall. To better showcase the village's proximity to the city of Rochester, the village was incorporated as the Village of East Rochester in 1906. The boundaries of the village were divided between the towns of Perinton, Pittsford, and Penfield. In 1982 the residents of the village voted to become a coterminous town and village. The village has some unusual architectural heritage in the form of the Concrest neighborhood, designed and built by Kate Gleason in 1920. East Rochester can be reached by bike from the city by traveling in a straight line down East Avenue, which eventually turns into Fairport Road. The distance from downtown is about eight miles. About East Rochester Photo Despatch - July 2008 by BradMandell According to its Wikipedia Article, East Rochester has been home to some of the finest Italian restaurants in the Rochester area. "Due to the success of its high school sports teams, (despite the small size of the village and school in relation to surrounding towns) East Rochester has been affectionately referred to as "The Home of Champions." "Renowned for two notable disasters ... involving derailments on the double-track mainline running through town. The first ... 29 October 1969 when a 30-car Penn Central freight train carrying produce derailed onto West Maple Avenue ... crushing numerous automobiles and toppling telephone poles. Remarkably, no one was injured. — On 16 January 2007, a 13-car CSX intermodal train traveling 60 miles per hour and carrying retail goods partially derailed at the South Lincoln underpass, spilling at least five containers and two intermodal wells onto the road below. The wreckage extended west from South Lincoln along East Maple Avenue to Madison Street as derailed cars crushed a number of vehicles parked alongside the tracks and dumped intermodal containers into the front yards of residents on Maple. Places to Eat Crust Pizza Kitchen Dunkin' Donuts El Greco By Mike Ferrari Pizza Bar Good Smoke BBQ Lemoncello Italian Restaurant & Bar Leo's Elite Bakery Lucca's Northside Kitchen Perlo's PlayerzZone Roma's Italian Cafe Rubino's Salvatore's Old Fashioned Pizzeria Tim Hortons Village Way Pizzeria Wendy's Links East Rochester Overview & Real Estate Listings from Property Source A Brief History of East Rochester, on the town/village web site for more information East Rochester Union Free School District

Main Street

Looking west down Main Street at 7:30AM Monday morning. Photo by btorzyn Main Street refers to what was historically the primary thoroughfare of the City of Rochester. Geography Coming from the west, Chili Avenue turns into West Main Street at Genesee Street. Once about halfway through downtown, the road becomes East Main Street at Rochester's Four Corners. East Main Street continues over the Genesee River and through the city, and ends at North Winton Road. For a more complete physical description and a list of establishments, visit the pages for East Main Street and West Main Street. History Painting of the Main Street Bridge from the Memorial Art Gallery. Every city ought to have a Main Street. Rochester is no different. The only difference is that Rochester's modern Main Street was not called "Main" since forever when carts first trudged along it. Rochester's first Main Street was the section between the Genesee River and the Liberty Pole, now part of East Main Street. At that time, Main Street continued off to the southeast, along present-day East Avenue, and after one entered the woods, it was known as the "Pittsford Road" because it led to the village of Pittsford, now a suburb of Rochester. To the west of the bridge across the river, the road was called Buffalo Street. Buffalo Street was laid out by Nathaniel Rochester from the bridge to the Bull's Head Tavern, at the intersection of the Genesee road which led to Batavia and the Buffalo road which led to... you get the picture. The extension of Buffalo Street west of Bulls Head was named West Avenue in the 1830's, and in a fit of feverish intercity competition in the 1870's, the section of roadway from the river to the Erie Canal landing (now at the juncture with Broad Street) was renamed "West Main Street," to disassociate it from Rochester's western rival. In 1913, the name "West Main" was applied to the rest of the road on towards Bulls Head where today Genesee Street joins West Main Street, Chili Avenue, and West Avenue. Along West Main Street, near Broad Street, the site of today's Rochester Board Of Education building, once accommodated the old General Hospital, which replaced the City Hospital built in 1864 to treat Civil War casualties. The Bulls Head Tavern site was replaced with the St. Mary's Orphan Asylum For Boys, and now is a parking lot. Closer to downtown, the Powers Building at Four Corners was nicely renovated in the 1990's, preserving an early cast-iron structure which once housed one of America's largest private art galleries. East Main Street crosses the Genesee River at the surprisingly-named Main Street Bridge, which is the fifth bridge to stand on the site. Until the 1960's, this bridge was lined with four-story buildings which blocked downtown's best views of the river, but also lent the city a unique charm on their own, with shops like the Paris Cash Store with "all kinds of Yankee goods and notions" and the I. B. Van Every store which sold "cassimers, beaver and pilot cloths, satinets, flannels, Merinos, bombazines," all, as their advertisement says, "for cash." The original "Main Street" ran along the course of today's East Avenue, until the 1850's. At that time, Main Street Extension was opened up from the Liberty Pole to Goodman Street, along the present route of East Main Street. This prompted a resident of the "old" Main Street, a Mr. Josiah Bissell, to paint and mount a string of street signs identifying the road as "East Avenue," which name it has retained today, even out to the village limits of Pittsford. Thus, the Main Street Extension became East Main Street proper, running out to the railyards where North Goodman Street met Schanck Road, which led off to the east. In the 1880's, Schanck Road was absorbed by Main Street, which extended East Main all the way to Culver Road. In the early 1910's, East Main Street was extended one final time, to its present terminus at Winton Road North.

Quick Wiki Tips

Edit Interesting Pages List and Random Thumbnails to modify random front page content. Edit FortuneCookies to add random quotes to the bottom of the front page. Please do not press this button again. Thank you. Make your pages shine with Tags Cheat-Sheet Don't give FarMcKon root access, whatever you do! The Spy Bar was really real. The Spy Bar used to actually exist. The Spy Bar no longer exists. Or does it? Soylent Green is made from people. It's made from People!!!!! Hello, McFly We know you own a digital camera, why not snap your favorite eatery or bar and add it to RocWiki! NO digital camera? Why not find photos on Flickr.com or WebShots.com for your favorite RocWiki entry? Ask not what the wiki can do for you, ask what you can do for your wiki. An electrical device run 24-hours a day for a year costs about $1-per-watt, so a 100-watt lightbulb left on all year would cost about $100. Your alarm clock costs about $3/year to run. 1 One gallon of gasoline contains about 36.5 kilowatt-hours of energy so in terms of electricity at $0.10/kilowatt-hour, that would be $3.65/gallon. The kernel of indisputable information is a dot in space, interpretations grow out of the desire to make this point a line, to give it a direction. - Barry Lopez in Arctic Dreams Before you get the urge to change somebody's comments, DON'T. You are being watched, no funny stuff You are being watched, no funny stuff Have you played Atari today? Are you going green yet? Have you replaced your light bulbs with a Compact Fluorescent Bulbs yet? Or better yet, mercury-free LED's? Strange. Normally this would be the place a tip would exist. Anything less than the best is a felony. If you point your finger at someone, the other three are pointing back at you (;>) Promote RocWiki to your librarian, teacher, realtor, visitors, or anyone with a special Rochester interest. RocWiki is a great resource for people planning a trip or a move to the Rochester area Firefox and IE Users: Put RocWiki Search at your fingertips! See Add RocWiki Search to your Browser. Firefox users even get suggestions as they type the search term. Hey server admins! Rebuilding the search index? How about NOT doing it as root and doing it as the username Sycamore is running under instead, eh? Core error (bus dumped) Don't eat the yellow snow. Buy low, sell high. 1$0.114/kilowatt-hour * 24 hours/day * 365 days/year * 1 kilowatt/1,000 watts = $1.00/watt-year.

Main and Clinton

The Main and Clinton neighborhood was for many years Rochester's premier shopping district. Until the advent of suburban big box stores, Main and Clinton was known for Sibley's, McCurdy's, B. Forman's, and Midtown Plaza. Although its glory days are gone, the neighborhood is still downtown's retail center and boasts many small shops. For the most part, however, Main and Clinton is in a state of transition. The demolition of Midtown Plaza in 2009 was the first stage of the city's Midtown Rochester Rising plan which promises the rehabilitation of the nearly nine-acre site into a mixed-use development designed to attract a "critical mass of residents" and new 24/7 amenities. The complete process is expected to take almost a decade. Until then, Main and Clinton is characterized mostly by extensive construction. Main and Clinton is also Rochester's transportation hub. The city bus lines are arranged on a spoke system, with its central points around the Main and Clinton intersection and Liberty Pole Plaza. Also located here are Greyhound and the New York Trailways. Landmarks here include the Liberty Pole, Chase Tower, and the Sibley Building. Main and Clinton is also the site of Monroe Community College's Damon City Campus at 228 Main Street. Establishments Food and Drink East Main Hots Metro Market Groceries and Deli Panini's Restaurant Sweet Dawn Cafe Retail AA-1 Pawn Big Deal Fashions Creative Plastics Family Dollar Fauna's Gifts and Toys Jewelry Clinic Mike's Discount Jewelry Rainbow Rapid Cellular Suzie's Newsstand VILLA Zip's Food and Beverage Services Catholic Family Center Center City Dental Care Chase Downtown Dental Center Midtown Tailors & Cleaners MOCHA Center (Men of Color Health Awareness) Summit Federal Credit Union Tower Barber & Stylist Whelpley & Paul Opticians Other ABC Action Front Center Decibel Lounge Rochester AmeriCorps

AndreaCogliati/Reviews/Lento

Lento Executive Chef: Arthur Rogers 274 N. Goodman Street Rochester, NY 14607 (585) 271-3470 http://www.lentorestaurant.com/ RocWiki main page Visited on February 26, 2008 at 8:00 pm The restaurant, opened in Summer 2007, embodies slow food manifesto (Lento is Italian for slow), proudly offering healthy and original fine dining experience using only fresh, seasonal, local ingredients and privileging organic and bio-dynamic products. Ambiance Located in the promising Village Gate, Lento doesn't share the joint lively hip-hop culture. Dimmed lights, dark green and brown walls, wood and curtains create a cozy and soft ambient, ideal for a romantic, candle-light dinner or a relaxed old friend reunion. The inside room is ample enough and houses three distinct dining islands, offering privacy for small parties. A few tables outside would probably offer a nice outdoor dining experience when the whether allows it. Table cloths, glassware and silverware are of very good quality and in line with the class of the restaurant. The two-seat tables are really tiny though and can barely hold two plates, water and wine glasses and bottles. Menu The cuisine offers an eclectic and original interpretation of seasonal products. Executive Chef Arthur Rogers doesn't use half measures though. His creations are sharply flavored and he's not shy when using strong flavoring like garlic, balsamic vinegar, herbs or honey. This was our second visit to the establishment and we found a definite improvement to the cuisine, that lacked balance and harmony during our first visit in September last year. Now, the cuisine is more mature and balanced: flavors are still crisp and clear-cut but they don't fight in the dishes anymore. Very attentive to vegetarians in general, they also feature a vegetarian and vegan night every Thursday. Appetizers range from $7 to $14, while entrees are in $15-$33. Wine List The wine list is pretty small and offers about 50 wines, 15 of which may be ordered by the glass. Main varietals and world regions are present with some remarkable absences, like Oregon. Despite being small, geographic indications are incomplete. Bottle prices range from $22 to $165, with above the average markups. Meal Bread Instead of bread and butter they offer a garlic focaccia and rosemary olive oil. Good but a little too oily in the end. NV Dry Vidal Blanc, Smokehouse (Figer Lakes, NY) We choose a NV Finger Lakes Vidal Blanc: dry, light bodied with crisp acidity, with fresh white flowers and a hint of ginger and lemongrass. A perfect pairing with our light appetizers, it showed some weaknesses with the entrees. A little overpriced at $22. Fritto Misto A mixed fry of calamari, piquillo peppers and chickpeas drizzled with organic garlic aioli. $9 Perfectly fried calamari: crispy outside and supple inside. Piquillo peppers balanced the sweetness of the seafood and the pungent taste of the garlic sauce. Great savor and balance. Score: 14/20 Verdura Mista Fresh mix of vegetables lightly fried in a chickpea flour batter with a white balsamic and local honey dipping sauce. $9 Very good mix of seasonal vegetables (broccoli, pumpkin, fennel, green peppers and portobello mushroom), once again fried to perfection. The sweet and sour dipping sauce reminds a Japanese tempura. Score: 12.5/20 Monkfish Provencal Wild pan seared Atlantic monkfish Provencal, with house made saffron cavatelli, roasted red peppers, Bang Island mussels, herbs and garlic in a tomato seafood broth, frizzled leeks. $28 Very good match with the firm meat of the monkfish, the crispy fried herbs, the smooth cavatelli and the broth. Mussels added some unique flavors to the result. Score: 15/20 Scallops Pan seared Maine diver scallops, sweet Maine shrimp and littleneck clams in a citrus infused bouillabaisse stew with Sardinian cous cous, nicoise olives, fennel, tomato, grilled crostini. $32 The best dish of the night, full of different textures and flavors. Sardinian cous cous (called fregula in Italy), usually served dry, was a perfect support for the seafood and perfectly mated with the bouillabaisse. Score: 16/20 Profiteroles Triple chocolate profiteroles. $8 Very good finish but definitely inferior to the appetizers and entrees. There's room for improvement in the dessert area. Score: 11/20 Service Our server, Greg, was perfect. Friendly and helpful, present without being nosy. The new manager, Steve, is young and a bit shy but he has time to become more confident. Price The bill totaled to $112, before taxes. Pretty inexpensive, considering they mostly use fresh organic ingredients. Pros The selection of ingredients and the inventive of the chef. Very nice and relaxing ambient. Cons Small wine list. Desserts can be improved. Credits Review by AndreaCogliati

AndreaCogliati/Reviews/Bodhi's Cafe

Bodhi's Café 274 N. Goodman Street Rochester, NY 14607 (585) 473-2030 http://bodhiscafe.com/ RocWiki main page Visited on March 6, 2008 at 7:45 pm Fine dining experience at café prices. Live music during the weekend, usually on Friday and Saturday nights. Ambiance Bodhi's Café is a lounge restaurant and café located in the Village Gate district. It's designed as an open-space loft, with high ceiling, concrete floor and bohemian furnishing: there are an antique piano, a country bench and an aquarium, several photos (for sale) on the walls. The atmosphere is soft and relaxed and invites to quietly enjoy the chef creations. Tables and chairs are neat; no tablecloth, revealing the café soul. Tumblers are used for water and wine, a modern choice I do not particularly fancy. Menu Fusion cuisine. The menu shows very good intentions of using common ingredients (like tuna, salmon, chicken, shrimp) or less common ones (like grouper or chuck loin) in an unusual and creative way. Results are first-class and tasty, without been excessive. A few choices for vegetarians are present as well. Appetizers ranges from $6 to $8, while entrees are in $10-$16. Drink List Wine list is limited: a dozen wines, available per glass or per bottle, are listed, plus 3 house wines, available per carafe. You can chose among several grapes and world regions, though. A dozen beers and a selection of teas and infusions are available as well. Meal Wines We chose to drink two glasses of wine: Heron Hill Chardonnay (Finger Lakes, NY) $5 Medium body, good acidity, nice citrus and grapefruit flavors. Fat Cat Merlot (California) $6 Medium body, clear varietal flavors with just a hint of oak. Spring Rolls Fresh shrimp, napa cabbage, carrots, green onion and sweet and spicy dipping sauce. $6 Basically a shrimp salad wrapped in a surprisingly transparent, somewhat jelly, wrap. The fresh basil leaves, the hazelnut relish and the dipping sauce create an interesting contrast. A good start. Score: 13/20 Pan-seared Grouper Pan-seared grouper over jasmine rice cake, topped with a coconut curry lime sauce and a kimchee salad. $16 South-eastern asian influences in this light, simple but tasty delicacy, presented as a small pagoda in the dish. An amazing, meticulous culinary understatement. Score: 16/20 Black Peppercorn Crusted Chuck Loin Black peppercorn crusted chuck loin over roasted garlic and sour cream, smashed potatoes topped with horseradish cream sauce and braised spinach. $16 Strong flavors for a not-so-common beef cut, remarkably tender and marvelously cooked. Score: 15/20 Cakes Fresh baked desserts and pastries are featured. All desserts, but a few, are homemade; the others come from a bakery. Apple cheesecake. $6 Chocolate ganache cake. $6 Both desserts were delicious. The chocolate ganache was really decadent. A great finish! Score: 16.5/20 Service Our server, Alicia, was impeccable. Very prepared on the menu and the specials, attentive and witty. The owner, whom I previously met once, was also very amiable: he greeted us when we arrived, he stopped by our table inquiring about the meal and exchanged a few words when we left. Price The bill totaled to $61, before taxes. Absolutely reasonable. Pros Very relaxing atmosphere. Great food and desserts. Excellent service. Reasonable prices. Live music. Cons Very small wine selection. The kitchen is not completely isolated from the dining area and clothes can catch slight cooking odors.

Critical Brisk Stroll

Critical Brisk Stroll is a new international movement with an as-of-yet-unscheduled first event to be held in Rochester. The aim of this movement is to assert the rights of pedestrians everywhere to sidewalks and crosswalks. Plans are being formed for an inaugural walk to take place within the next month, beginning at the Village Gate and ending at an as-of-yet-to-be-determined bar in the South Wedge. You are encouraged to join the mailing list here to involve yourself in the community, aid in planning, or to keep tabs on this grassroots movement for law enforcement purposes. Synopsis (draft): While the Critical Brisk Stroll movement eschews all labels, it is closest in its ideological bent to the Contemporary-Neo-Randian-Post-Malthusian-Conservative-Anarcho-Capitalistic-Classical-Socialist-Tibetan-Green movement, predicated upon the assumption of validity in the philosophies espoused by Adorno in his seminal work: Negative Dialectics. Self declared members of the movement, in a strictly binary deconstructive sense, could perhaps all be accurately described as conscientiously striving to reflect the universal class struggle as illustrated by the evolution of the C++ programming language. Borges, Akirakawa and Gins, Hitler, Alizee, Noam Chomsky, Malaysia1, and Adolf Wolfli are our mortal enemies. We, as a decentralized movement, agree that Genocide is morally abhorrent, strive for the eradication of all prime numbers, and actively fellate the patriarchy—yet, while still remaining consistent with the underlying thrust of 5th wave feminism—and in turn necessessarily loathe even so much as a mention of evenly numbered denominations of currency. Critical Brisk Stroll is both the ineffable and Critical Brisk Stroll. We are as strictly regimented as an MLA formatted document and as flexible as the truth. We are the voice of reason—with footnotes. We are the innocent, blind, oppressed, and pure. We are the voice of the working class. We are pedestrians. It was independently conceived, having nothing to do with Critical Mass, despite any similarities in concept or name or reality.